Sure, it’s 2013 now. But what really changed? Nothing. Still stuck here during “vacation,” doing more than I can handle. Perhaps my view of life has changed, a little bit? This is definitely not what I want to do with my life, that’s for sure.
No resolutions for me. I’m just going to take it one day at a time because every time I try to do more than that everything falls apart. I broke down and started looking at jobs. I was originally planning to stay on here as a grad assistant for at least two quarter, maybe three but goddamn. There’s no possible way I’ll be able to handle another break here. This is miserable. The quarter ends in February and I hope like hell I’ll have a job lined up. if not, I could always apply to proper grad school and move home for the time in between. Mum would love that. I would not. I thought about it, for all of ten seconds. I can’t go home. I have to have something lined up.
The tricky thing will be figuring out what to do with my horses. Most places allow you to bring a horse, but I have two. I’m trying to sell Avery, though I really don’t want to, but that won’t happen before I get out of here. There are so many things to organize and I just can’t think about it without getting a little panicky. But I’ve got to get past it to get the hell out of here.